


The First Time

by LittleLadyLazarus



Series: Spinning [1]
Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Making Out, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-20
Updated: 2015-07-20
Packaged: 2018-04-10 08:50:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4385555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleLadyLazarus/pseuds/LittleLadyLazarus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's their first day back in New York since they went to Idris and fought the war. Alec and Magnus are spending some quality time together when it is interrupted by Magnus seeing Alec's old self-harm scars for the first time.<br/>[Post City of Glass]</p>
            </blockquote>





	The First Time

The first time Magnus saw his scars was the day they got back from Idris.  
Alec just wanted to get away from it all. He wanted to get away from the sadness, and the memories of Max, and his mother, and his father screaming at him for loving Magnus. He hadn’t told Magnus about that yet. He just wanted to have a lazy Friday with his boyfriend, without remembering the drama and the mourning and everything they had just been through.  
He didn’t even intend for them to start making out, but he wasn't going to complain.  
They started out in the kitchen, Alec leaning against the fridge and telling Magnus a story about when he was a kid while Magnus petted Chairman Meow at the table. Next thing he knew, he was pinned against the fridge with Magnus’ lips moving gently against his.  
Then, they found themselves in the living room, on the couch, shoes kicked off and Alec straddling Magnus as their kisses grew rougher. They broke apart just long enough for Magnus to pull off Alec’s sweater. As their breathing grew heavier and their kisses more sloppy, Magnus stood up. Alec wrapped his legs around the warlock’s waist as they stood, and Magnus held the younger man tightly against him, not breaking their kiss as he made his way to his bedroom and fell backwards onto the bed.  
Magnus unbuttoned his own shirt and pulled it off as they kissed, before he started at Alec’s belt. Alec didn’t protest, pressing his lips harder into Magnus’. It wasn’t until Magnus started pulling at Alec’s shirt that Alec broke away from the kiss slightly. Magnus, assuming the kiss was broken to get the shirt off, pulled it over Alec’s head, but Alec had another reason for stopping.  
There were nasty purple and pink scars marked into his pale flesh. They weren’t dainty and barely noticeable like ones left from using runes, but gaudy and ugly. He suddenly felt very shy and very nervous as Magnus’ amber eyes trailed over the scars from where he lay beneath Alec. “Alexander,” he began, but Alec was already moving off of him, sliding into the floor beside the bed as he scrambled to find his discarded shirt. It was only seconds before Magnus joined him. “Alec, wait.” He grabbed Alec’s wrist to stop him from picking up his shirt. “May I see them?”  
“Why would you want to –”  
“May I?”  
Alec frowned, but nodded. Magnus rose to his feet, pulling Alec with him. The amber eyes of the warlock stared at Alec’s hips. With his belt gone, Alec’s jeans hung just below his hip bones, making Magnus swallow hard. He reached out a hand and, after throwing Alec a questioning glance and receiving a nod of approval, gently grazed his fingers against the scars. He swallowed hard as he saw a very derogatory word carved into the flesh. He sunk down to his knees in front of his boyfriend, who looked awkward and nervous and scared and who he very much just wanted to take all of those feelings away from, and leaned forward to kiss the scarred skin. He looked up at the boy with offered him all the love and affection he could show through his eyes, “I love you, Alexander Lightwood. Scars and all. I only hope that you will allow me to help take away the pain in less self-destructive ways.”  
Alec sunk down to the ground in front of Magnus, who took him in his arms and hugged him. “Magnus,” Alec said, “I’m fine. Really, I am. It was before I met you.”  
“I never want you to hurt yourself again, okay?”  
“Yes, Magnus.”  
“Promise.”  
“I promise.”  
Magnus stood up, taking the other man with him. He picked up Alec’s discarded shirt and offered it back to his boyfriend, who accepted it with a small smile and immediately pulled it over his head.  
“How about I get you some coffee,” Magnus said, “and we can talk about this, yeah?”  
Alec nodded. He didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t want to tell Magnus of the marks he put on his skin as punishment for loving Jace, or as punishment for disappointing his family. He didn’t want to tell Magnus of the time Izzy found him trying to down pills. He didn’t want to tell Magnus that he’d been feeling all of his old feelings again. He didn’t want to tell him that he blamed himself for his little brother’s death. He didn’t want to tell him that his father had said Alec wasn’t his son because of his love for Magnus. But deep down he knew he owed it to the man, the man he loved, and he knew that Magnus Bane, High Warlock of Brooklyn, his Warlock, was going to make it okay somehow. He was going to make everything be okay.  
And so he followed his lover into the kitchen for coffee.


End file.
